Siem

When I was growing up, 

I always fantasized...

about my dream father:

he would be there for me, 

always loving & devoted, 

he would take me camping, 

he would fix my car.

As I grew up 

and got to know my (actual) dad,

I let go of those fantasies, 

embracing (the real) gifts 

of the dad I had.

And then four years ago, 

when Han and my world's collided,

it was clear that one of the biggest perks

to this new way of life for me

was that his dad was a giant part of it.

Siem has been the dad of my dreams.

Always there.

So loving.

So strong.

So capable.

So trustworthy.

So devoted.

So dependable.

So inspiring.

Always there to fix what is broken.

He has been integrally intertwined in our days:

helping out with the little and big things.

Always making things feel better

just by his presence. 

We connected over our shared love of...

Han, Roald Dahl, and minimalizing. 

He has made me feel so welcomed and loved here.

~~~~

In three weeks he would celebrate 

60 years with the love of his life, Rieky.

Just a short time ago, in his 70's, he made four bicycle trips across Europe!

I am in awe studying the photo books of his adventures.

Here is just one (of the four routes) he took. Incredible!

Last July when Zack was here, 

they all went windsurfing

and Siem showed him how it's done.

Age is just a number!

And then... a week ago,

 after an ordinary day here at the Mill...

...an ordinary Thursday

like 20 years of Thurday's...

Siem had a major stroke.

Once again, life turned upside down in an instant.

This man who should've lived to 100,

gave us a week to adjust to the fact that he was leaving.

Simon Kuijper

July 14, 1937-May 28, 2022

We are going to miss him beyond words. 

And at the same time,

we are grateful he is riding free.

Tot we elkaar weer ontmoeten, lieve Siem.

❤️

Mom's Garden

In honor of Mom.

Mom, of all people, knew what a reluctant gardener I've been.

But, here, with the help of Han, I am finding a place to channel my love.

I know how much my mom (and grandma) would love it 

and I feel their presence here with me so strongly. 

So thankful that Han came up with the idea of this garland. Each piece of fabric was tied on by a loved one, with a wish or a prayer, creating a beautiful symbol of our love and connection with her. 

Six "Nana Bells" in honor of Mom's 6 grandchildren: her pride and joy.

“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.”

~Thomas Campbell

Good News

If life has taught me anything in the last couple years, it is that beauty, sadness, gratitude and grief can coexist all at once. 

So, as I've been savoring the beauty of Spring here in Holland and appreciating so many things about this new chapter in my life, I've also been struggling mightily to adjust to life without Mom (in the way I was used to)...and also with an enormous amount of fear about my cancer returning.

Last Friday I went in for follow up scans (CT and PET), to see how my body is doing post-chemo treatment. How strange to have to ask a doctor how my body is doing! Until this point, we've only been doing blood tests. So, to have these have these big scans felt both important and scary.

~~~~

I am thrilled to share the good news: that my scans showed no signs of cancer. 

My oncologist even said the magic word of "remission". 

The relief I feel is hard to articulate. 

I think a part of me has been holding my breath since Mom's diagnosis (10/2019) and mine (3/2020). There is a loss of innocence in knowing how quickly life can turn upside down without your consent. 

Bigger, deeper breaths.

Baby steps in trust.

Riding the waves, daring to hope....and, as always,

so grateful for your support.

❤️

Keukenhof

After all this time, it took two friends visiting from Canada to get us to the visit the famous Keukenhof . We are spoiled with tulip fields so nearby, we thought it wasn't really necessary to see tulips amongst the crowds. We were so wrong. It was utterly worthwhile. 

Thanks Janet & Colleen for making this happen!

Even though we this is the last week of its annual seven week run, there was still beauty at every turn!

How can there be so many varieties of one flower??

It really did feel like the Disneyland of tulips.

We loved every minute of it.

It felt impossible to stop taking photos.

To see more, click here.

It's really amazing how much work goes into a seven week opening.

We hope to return many times!

April Round Up

Time to catch up. It has been a busy time! At the beginning of the month, I took a quick trip to California. Eli was down on a visit during his spring break so it was a good chance for me to see all the kids in one state! Spring in California looks different than Spring in Holland but definitely has its own beauty.

Aidan flew down to Long Beach, too!

Isabel has a new hamster, named "Ted". 

He is so cute and really liked the bag I brought from Alkmaar.

The day after Eli flew home, Zack made a quick trip down for his weekend!

Happy for the bonus time, we enjoyed visiting the aquarium together.

Mother/daughter and matching earrings (from Kauai)❤️

I was able to fly into LAX and out of SFO,

 so it worked out really nicely to spend time in both spots.

 I love seeing whatever the kids want to show me--and just hanging out, of course!

Golden Gate Park is incredible and we also took a beautiful little day trip down to Half Moon Bay.

At Pigeon Point Lighthouse, we watched a baby seal come in for some rest in the sun.

 Our favorite Ramen Shop-just down the street from Zack & Aidan's apartment. Zo lekker!

So thankful for this special time together and...

 that my kids are four of my favorite people to hang out with in all the world!

~~~~

Then I came home to Spring in full swing.

Baby geese everywhere, which makes me so happy.

We're busy with the Airbnb which is fully booked

 & I really enjoy adding special touches for our guest's visits!

Han's parents live about 20 minutes away in the town of Limmen. 

Each year they have Mosaic Day where people make displays from hyacinths.

The patience that this must take!

This garden is also located nearby. It is a "gene bank" for tulips and has an incredible variety.

 A special evening at a typical Dutch family restaurant in a nearby small town.

We bought a little electric boat and I'm learning to sail it!

Giving a helping hand.

Celebrating Han's 56th Birthday!

His Birthday is also King's Day, the most festive day of the year in The Netherlands!

A full and beautiful month!

For (even) more photos, click here! ;)