Truly Good News

This morning it was confirmed: my body responded super positively to the chemotherapy. Dr. Wilfong said it had a “Complete Response”: there is no evidence of the disease. HALLELUJAH!!!

I have an appointment tomorrow with the radiation oncologist, who may recommend a short course of radiation on my arm as insurance. 

But, as far as the chemo...I am finished. I get to have my port taken out as soon as they can get me in.

On the cautionary side: there is a 20% chance of reoccurence which usually happens in the first 2-3 years. So, I will continue to get blood work done and see him every 3 months for the first year...and then every 6 months for the following two years. 

But, for now, this is the best news that was possible to get. I am utterly grateful and have a sense of being able to breath so much deeper than I could before.

It will take me a long time to process all I’ve gone through during this time: the level of fear I’ve felt, the depth of love I’ve felt....the inner demands of having no choice but to stay in the present moment....being hit over the head over and over and over about how little control we have over things we so want to control....knowing that there is beauty, sweetness, laughter, and joy to be found even in the midst of so much darkness....knowing that if we can manage to just do “the next right thing”, the road will continue to open up and show us the way. 

Trusting the process...

 even when it’s so hard to do. 

Feeling fireproof today.

❤️❤️❤️

Patience is Not My Virtue

A quick update to share that I arrived back home on Monday. Saying goodbye doesn't get any easier. Especially this time....leaving behind so much beauty (not to mention my 🧡) and flying back to such heavy duty challenges....including a sky full of so much smoke we couldn't see the ground until we were just about ready to land.

I had a (negative) Covid test on Tuesday and this morning I went in for my PETscan. I've had this scheduled for almost two months and it's the test that is supposed to show if the chemo has gotten all the cancer. I had hoped to get the results today (Thursday) but had a call from a nurse just to set up a phone appointment with doctor to discuss them on MONDAY🤯🤯🤯! 

I emailed the doctor begging to hear more before the weekend and just received this response from his assistant: "The news is good, you've had a great response to treatment. The Dr. will discuss it in more detail on Monday." I'm so relieved to hear this but still would feel much better talking about it and knowing more definitively the answers to all my questions. Mainly: IS IT ALL GONE?! This is the answer I've been wanting to hear and was hoping to celebrate today.

I should probably be feeling happier that her message was positive. I know it could've been much worse, so it does help. But, I'm extremely frustrated by a system that would set things up this way. I've had the PETscan scheduled for so long. Why aren't the follow up appointments scheduled along side them? Aghhh. Just sharing while it's all very raw. The emotional rollercoaster of this ride cannot be overstated!

Believe me, I will be repeating the words in that email to myself for the next four days until I talk to my doctor: the news is good, the news is good, the news is good.

More to follow on Monday.

Thanks for your continued love, prayers, and support!

❤️

Touring Holland

 We've just returned from our week away, visiting some of Holland's most beautiful spots.

We spent our first two nights in the harbor town of Harlingen. We stayed in the brick house with yellow trim (with the unique roof) in the middle of this photo. It has been made into a boutique hotel and we loved that we could park our car and never need it again, as everything was within walking distance.

This was definitely a boating town. Canals everywhere and boats galore.

The town itself was founded in 1234(!).

Pretty difficult for me, as an American, to put my mind around!

We had fun taking short cuts with ever smaller and smaller alleys.

We were minutes away from the Wadden Sea and its ever changing view.

While we were here we took a day trip to the Dutch island of Terschelling, 

a 90 minute ferry ride away.

The ferries here feel more like cruise ships!

The Brandaris lighthouse is the oldest in the Netherlands, first built in 1323 before it was "eaten" by the  sea. It was rebuilt in 1594 and is still fully functioning-and also works as the harbor control center.

 

Han took full advantage of mussel season during this trip!

We fit in a round of miniature golf--or "midget golf" as they call it.

We spent the full day here. 

This was a beautiful spot to wait for our ferry.

Like many restaurants they'd set up partitions to protect from Covid.

❤️

After three beautiful days in this northern region, we headed south towards the town of IJlst.

The road trip was a big part of the fun. 

We came across stunning scenes like this one-in a little town in the middle of the countryside.

I had surprised Han by booking this sailing ship, grounded due to Covid.

(Amazing what you can find on Airbnb!)

The Selene had so many loving touches. It usually holds a crowd.

We were so lucky to have it to ourselves.

Amazing!

The town of IJlst turned out to be one of the most idyllic towns ever. 

Loved coming across this self driving little ferry to cross the small canal.

Typical Dutch!

And then we came across a truly Dutch scene: teens practicing "Fierljeppen", 

the sport of pole jumping over the canals. 

My kids would LOVE this!!!

A spot we will never forget!

We spent the last three nights of our trip in the unbelieveably beautiful town of Giethoorn-

founded in 1230 (!).

Every house here looked like it could belong to Snow White.

No cars are allowed, so the only way to get around is by foot, bike or boat.

We stayed in a gezellig B&B right in the heart of things.

These friendly Dutch Quacker Ducks (“Quackerjes”) made for a warm welcome.

Our place came with its own electric boat, which we loved.

All boats here have to be electric, so it is very quiet on the canals.

There are 150 bridges in Giethoorn!

So cozy.

The local history museum was top notch.

And we got so lucky with the weather.

Such a beautiful stork pole!

You can see the house we’re in at the end of this canal.

The canals lead out to a little lake.

Swans are as typical as ducks.

Chocomel is also typical Dutch.

So much beauty.

After seven beautiful nights, we headed home--less than a two hour drive.

We stopped at Hans & Grietjes for a pancake on the way home.

Although this place is clearly aimed at kids. It definitely brought out the kid in both of us

We stopped for another round of mini golf after that and arrived home to a wonderful home cooked dinner from Han's niece, Marly, who did a great job "mill sitting" while we were away. 

What a wonderful week!

~~~

And on the health front:

I'm doing well.

I arrived here with a low white blood cell count, so was conscious to be extra careful.

I did get some kind of topical infection, which was frustrating.

I was able to see Han's doctor before our trip and he prescribed an antibiotic and it is all cleared up now.

Other than that, I've been doing as well as can be.

I'm working at staying in the present moment...although, knowing I'll find out the results of my chemo when I get home is never far from my mind.

Thankfully, the present moment is wonderfully distracting.

I'm counting on this.

❤️